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Vanity

I’m having an existential crisis lately where I’m asking myself what do I want to do with my life.  And then discovering last week that I’m developing a deeply etched wrinkle on the right side of my face is making it all so much worse.  I swear, I’m not vain.  The wrinkle has probably been there for six months and that’s how little I look at my face.  I mean, I put on makeup a couple times a week, but I don’t really look at my face, you know?  Like Monica mentions, you can’t really know how much you’re going to freak out until it happens.

 

The photo doesn’t show the wrinkle very well.  But you can see that I’m tired and sick (again), so it still applies.  Also, Stonewall is making such an adorable expression.

 

teenager4

 

I always expected that my first serious wrinkles would be in my forehead or the space between my eyebrows because I tend to scowl a lot.  I make this face when I’m concentrating, and yeah, it looks like I’m mad.  Last week a colleague came into my office to ask me a question and he almost walked right out because he said I looked so stern.  This wrinkle is a laugh line, so I’m grateful for that.  Don’t people who have laugh lines make you assume they’re nice people?  For example, I’ve always assumed that Tom Selleck must be extremely nice and he seems it in interviews.

 

I’ve always been one of those people who had a plan.  At 14 I decided that I wanted to be a genetic researcher until I took Intro Biology and realized that I could never have a profession in such an imprecise science.  So I switched to chemistry, which was precise, but I was terrible at research.  So my junior year I decided I would be a patent attorney.  And that plan sustained me until now, twelve years later.  I still want to be a patent lawyer, but I also really want to quit everything and go live in the jungle and study baby birds.

5 Responses to “Vanity”

  1. Tiffany says:

    Maybe your plan could include reinventing yourself? It doesn’t have to be crazy! The only thing really guaranteed in life is change.

    Now, about your “wrinkle”/ laugh line, but I’m sorry, I don’t see it. You need to stop focusing on it (if it is really there) and appreciate your whole face, at least occasionally! You are young and beautiful – don’t forget that. I liked the article you linked to an certainly could relate…I’m waiting for the sucker punch lol.

    Your boys are super cute and perky!

  2. tess says:

    I have a small wrinkle on my forehead that I noticed years ago. Luckily, it hasn’t gotten any more noticeable since then. Im not the type to be into vanity either, but I definitely feel a bit wistful looking at older pics of myself, bc I can tell a difference. It reminds me how fast time goes! Now about your wrinkle… didn’t see it. But, I did specifically notice how gorgeous your skin is, if that helps. :) maybe you need more vacation time. I feel unsure about my path sometimes too. It can feel like you’ve accomplished little personally when ya stay home raising kids. can’t stand being away from them tho, so it suits me and I never regret it.

  3. cindy says:

    Gravity comes to everyone eventually. And life happens while you’re not looking and the marks left show in our faces.

    I can tell you that you’re beautiful, but that probably doesn’t help. Hey, you don’t have the “crepey eyes” yet. That’s a good reason to NOT look in the mirror.

    Nature does her best to cope – she makes our vision dimmer so that we still look 30ish in our own mind picture, to our partners, friends, and to ourselves with a quick glance in the mirror. No fair staring.

  4. Elizabeth says:

    Thanks guys. I feel a lot better now. :-)

  5. cindy says:

    Love you…