What Conner has started really liking, though, is perching at an angle close to my knee.  It looks like a lot of effort to keep himself balanced.

It’s not because my leg is in the way.  He likes to snuggle up next to my leg.  I suspect he’s taken up this new position because Trevor is always invading his space, trying to get to close to Conner.  So when Conner is on my leg at this angle Trevor can’t bother him.

I took this picture when the light was coming in at a certain angle.  In my focus in taking pictures of wild birds, I sometimes forget that I have beautiful subjects to photograph at home.

But that activity has been abandoned lately in favor of hiding on the other side of the cages where prying human eyes cannot see.  I was only able to get a blurry picture because it’s so dark back there, but don’t they look suspicious?

When we come upstairs and they’re hiding in their corner, they quickly scrabble up the cage.  There isn’t even enough room for them to comfortably stand on the little shelf, but they love having a private place to stand.  I wonder what they talk about.

The camera makes him a little shy, but Jon was able to catch him in his closed-eye pose.

This toy is awesome because it has a box wrapped in tissue with shreddable material inside.  Unfortunately, Trevor doesn’t like to forage.  But if your bird does, I recommend it.  Trevor just likes to pull the confetti string.

If you’re looking for toys for your cockatiels, first make sure that you’re getting a small size.  Cockatiels are not going to be able to break down things like wood blocks.  Instead, they can break popsicle sticks and things of a similar size.  My guys like also like paper and really thin woven strips.  Here is a rare glance of Conner playing with a toy.

I recommend using toys that you know they’ll enjoy and keeping a tester toy around.  Sometimes the cockatiels will ignore a toy for months and will then destroy it in a day.  You should also make sure that the toys don’t cause over crowding.  You don’t want to prevent the birds from moving around in their cages.  I prevent this by putting most of the toys on top of the cage.  I also have four cockatiel cages connected, though, which is a luxury for a lot of people.  I’m lucky that the cages fit nicely along the sloping wall so it isn’t even taking up space because a human couldn’t stand upright in that area.  As a result, the cockatiels have a pretty sweet setup.

We do spend a lot more time with him at night, though, which helps.  They’re really happy when we’re in the room.  It means that the flock is complete and the birds can relax.

Both birds are becoming more comfortable with Jon.  Conner likes to sit on Jon’s stomach at night and Trevor prefers his knee.

Conner cocks his head and flirts a little, although he doesn’t seem to be bursting with joy the way he used to.  But he is happy and someday he’ll be ecstatic again.

I call it the rice beard.

Now Conner freaks out when I walk into the bathroom or go downstairs.  He’s also figured out Audrey’s trick of standing at the edge of the shelf and yelling so that his voice echoes downstairs.  Audrey only did this when he actually needed me to help him.  Conner just wants to make sure that we’re still here.

It will take awhile for Conner to be his old self, at least I hope he’ll get back to being his old self.  I can’t stand thinking that he might never cock his head again.  Sometimes he wants me to hold him in front of Audrey’s cage so he can look inside and make happy noises.  But he is getting better.  He makes a few happy noises at night and today he sang when he didn’t know that we could hear him.

I wish I could bring Audrey back.

It has a section for a picture so I choose a picture of Audrey on his giraffe, looking down at his people.

It’s a very nice memorial.  We put it on top of Audrey’s favorite location with his Kleenex box and bottles.  Also, it might be a little hard to see because of the flash but the box has a plaque below the picture that says “Audrey Rufus Bird.”  Just saying his name makes me tear up still and I was pretty much bawling when I told the people at the crematorium what to put on the plaque.  But Audrey would have loved it.

It’s a hard transition for Conner.  He misses Audrey so much.  There are moments where he’s happy but then he remembers that he’s in mourning.  I’m hoping he’ll cheer up soon.

He’s been part of my life since I was eight years old and I don’t know how to live without him.  I feel confident, though, that he had the best life possible filled with everything he could want.  I love you Audrey and I’m going to miss you so much.

When I would let Conner go he would fly around or try to hide in a corner, screaming as I’ve never heard him scream.  After 20 minutes I brought Conner to Jon and within five minutes he was fine.  We think that he recognizes Jon as the alpha male in the flock.

This happened once before after transferring Conner from the shower to the cage.  I thought that time was because the lights were dim in the room with Conner’s cage.  So since then I’ve always had the lights on bright.  So now we think that because the bathroom has an echo, Conner heard Trevor’s usual noises of alarm, but it sounded weird so he thought it was an actual warning.

I wanted to write about this because I’ve never imagined that Conner would act like this, so maybe people can learn from the experience.  If your bird seems to lose his mind with fear, get him into a safe environment, towel him if you have to and find the alpha-male of the flock.